THE HOST - a Whole Bunch of Shit

Actor Max Irons was describing the mixed emotions of a scene in which his character Jared confronts the Host of the title - his girlfriend Melanie whose body is the current vehicle for an alien presence known as The Wanderer but, unfortunately, this snippet of a quote pretty well fits the movie as a whole.

Stephanie Meyer's blockbuster Twilight series, while a definite featherweight (or sparkle-weight?) of the vampire genre, at least has the redeeming factor of looking pretty and having likeable, if over-angsty (have I invented a word?) characters. The Host doesn't even have this going for it. Frankly, there is little to grab on to if you're seeking character involvement - at least not at the start. About 15 minutes in I was asking myself - who am I supposed to like here? Not a single character to that point had elicited any sympathy.

Not that the basic premise is bad; in fact, it's a classic in may ways. Aliens taking over humans under the guise of making our lives better, but destroying what makes us human in the process, has been a theme from the earliest days of sci fi. An individual's fight to maintain their own identity under pressure to conform is common to almost every genre of film and literature. The question of how far a Resistance movement can go before it becomes as brutal as its oppressors is theme fraught with historical and modern relevance.

So why is 'The Host' so unrelentingly dreadful?

Firstly, the writing. It's painfully thin, predictable and, worst of all, unintentionally funny. Really, the audience should not be giggling at the romantic scenes! Or groaning. Or wishing they were at home watching reruns of the Big Bang Theory. I haven't read any of Myers' novels but the impression is that she's no Anne Rice and this borne out in spades in the scripting of the movie.

Secondly, the interplay in almost every so-called 'romantic' scene seemed to be as uncomfortable for the actors to play as it was for the audience to view. Trite, predictable, awkward, painful to watch. The Twilightesque threesome-plus-one just didn't flow.

Thirdly, THOSE SHOES! What's with that? Did the costume department intentionally go out of their way to locate the most hideously unattractive and obviously uncomfortable women's shoes they could find? Good grief! Grumbling and titters from the audience displayed how distracting it was to watch the actresses tottering about on boots that looked like ill-fitted Chinese knock-offs of the ugliest possible designs they could find.

If I didn't expect a lot from this film, then I wasn't disappointed! However, it's still a mystery how accomplished writer/director Andrew Niccol didn't manage to wrest a better screenplay and performances out of this story. Given that he has some experience with the idea of an individual having to pretend to fit in with a near-futuristic highly-regulated society with which they are fundamentally at odds (Gattaca) and the resulting need to be free to express ones real self (Truman Show), the shortcomings of this effort is baffling. And by the way, if the aliens can be knocked out with a single punch from a teenage boy then how the hell did Mankind manage to lose the earth in the first place! Come on people - really?

So, is there anything at all to be said on the positive side? Well, the movie was free. That's a positive, isn't it? Thanks to Mary from QUEST (Queensland Star Trekkers Fan Club), along with Hoyts Distribution and Think Tank, I won a free double pass to the movie preview at Hoyts which I shared with my good friend, Tracy. Although the film was a bit of a dud, we did catch up with several other friends from local sci fi club Conquest, including Peter, Rob, Missy and others.

The unremittingly wooden acting throughout the first part of The Host by both the alien-infested human hosts (somewhat understandable given the circumstances) and the free humans (unforgivable under any circumstance) was relieved somewhat when the action moved to the hidden base of the Resistance where we are treated - finally - to some actual acting by more experienced actors who are able to relate some real expression and passion. William Hurt, Juilliard-trained and Academy Award nominated, is as a reliable choice as you could ask for in the role of the gruff but fair resistance leader-cum-mountain man who says little, sees a lot, and suffers no fools. Scott Lawrence (Sons of Anarchy) and Frances Fisher (Eureka, The Shield) are two faces which most TV watchers and movie-goers will recognise, even if the names aren't immediately recognisable.

Some of the props and locations were interesting, and the special effects for the aliens, while nothing we haven't seen before, were servicible. The Resistance efforts to farm inside their mountain retreat, with their fields of grain lit by tiers of mirrors, was effective in conveying the ingenuity and tenacity of the human spirit. The minimalist surroundings of the aliens' communistic lives makes you wonder why they bother inhabiting other species if they fail to take the opportunity to experience the variety of lifestyles, arts, and other creations of their adopted societies. What they choose to retain of human life is bland, utilitarian, and spare. Everyone dresses basically the same. There is one type of car. Furniture is kept to the bare essentials. The doctor's medical tools are uniform spray dispensers, looking like upmarket perfume bottles, and unimaginatively labelled as 'Cool', 'Heal', and 'No Pain', while the grocery stores are undecorated warehouses with black and yellow tins (like IGA!) simply marked with the contents such as 'Corn'. Everything is free, so no advertising necessary! And I loved the zippy little chrome cars!

In the end, we see that it's the worst of us that saves us and the best of us that brings us together. Just as in 'War of the Worlds' where it's our diseases that destroy the invaders, in The Host it is our anger, jealousy, and desire to be in control that infects and transforms the peace-loving aliens and begins their downfall. I did like the old guy who kept his vintage car and appreciated its differences. We strive to be individuals, even with an alien in the driver's seat, so to speak! Ultimately, it's love that starts the process of integrating the two species. Heart-warming, innit? Unfortunately, the final scene left things open for a sequel.

The movie's tag-line is "What if everything you love was taken from you in the blink of an eye?" If only the movie had been that short! Only the prospect of drawing dollars from the pockets of the Meyers fan-base could have stopped this film going directly to DVD, and apparently, even they seem to be staying away in droves.

B PLUS - My Top 10 Sci Fi Movies of the 1950s

Actually, calling any of the chintzy old sci fi films of the 50s a B-Grader is a bit superfluous; pretty much every sci fi of the era is B Grade with a bloody big 'B'!

I watched lots of these films growing up during the 1960s on the old black and white Pye TV and some made a deep impression on me at the time, for various reasons. Some are still favourites today, although with added kitsch-appeal fifty years later! One of my top ten was on TV today - the 1953 release 'Invaders from Mars'.

Online research tells me that this fairly straight-forward pic was written in 1950, making it one of the first science fiction scripts of the 1950s, and was possibly intended to be filmed in 3D. Nevertheless, it's the subtle and moody visuals and atmospheric lighting that make this little gem a stand-out for me.

The story and script are nothing exceptional. An alien race, upset by the development of atomic power on earth, decide enough is enough and move to neutralize the percieved threat to their own existence by either conquering or destroying the earth or its inhabitants.

'Invaders from Mars' starts with a typical wholesome little boy of the time - a red-headed, freckle-faced innocent, given to exclaiming 'gee whiz!'. Stargazing with his telescope early one morning, he sees something crash into a sandy field near his home.

His comfortable, happy-families life goes downhill from there!

The first thing you really notice about 'Invaders' is the obviously 'stagey' sets. The apparent lack of visual depth in the 'outdoor' scenes immediately evokes a claustophobic feel, creating empathy with the little boy as he becomes inceasingly disconnected from the people in his life as they are taken over, one by one, by the aliens. Many indoor shots, by contrast, have almost surrealistic proportions, featuring long, narrow, high-ceilinged rooms with oversized vertical elements that are oppressively minimalist. Prison bars and tall black lamps in the police station, ceiling-high glass apparatus in a laboratory, and long dark shadows everywhere, create an overpowering sense of vulnerability in places where we encounter police, scientists, and other authority figures. These dark verticals mirror the scenery from the boy's bedroom window - a stand of tall, black dead trees beyond which a footbridge leads to an unseen destination just over a small ridge where (as we know) the alien spaceship lies hidden under a sandy field. Throughout the movie, incidental signs such as "DANGER" and "RESTRICTED AREA" add to the general menace underscoring the film.

Little David's perfect 1950s world of caring parents, happy well-behaved kiddies, and a supportive community (although apparently full of intellectuals and scientists working on the local development of a secret atomic rocket ship!) is initially rattled by the overnight disappearence and reappearance of his father. No longer the astronomy-loving, well-groomed and jolly head of the house (who nevertheless hides his actual rocket-science work from the family!) but now sweating, dishevelled, and suddenly violent when asked about the scar on the back of his neck. He does, however, seem to display a tiny spark of humanity in his voice when insisting his son forget what he saw in the sky that night.

Soon however, playmates, parents, and policeman change from pals and protectors to cold and vaguely threatening figures while, as usual, nobody listens to the lone protests of the little kid who seems to be the only one that notices their sinister transformations.

Locked up in the pokey, (for his own good, of course) little Opie (umm, I mean little David) at last finds a sympathetic ear in fashion-plate lady doctor, Pat Blake. Dark-haired (and therefor an intelligent female in the meme of the day!), Dr Pat is clothed all in antispeptic white with spotless slimline dress, gloves, shoes and clutch-bag. A red pocket handkerchief on the left side of her chest forms a geometric heart shape. This is the brightest thing in the entire film which, while in colour, is generally in pale tones of muted greys, blues, and beiges, almost looking like a back and white movie in parts. Her purity of dress (maybe subconsciously virginal?) contrasts with the stark black-widow garb of his now-transformed mother when she turns up to retrieve her wayward son. Previously pastel-pretty, she doesn't turn a Doris-Day-blonde hair when Dr Pat suggests - as a subterfuge to keep him in her care - that David may have polio, that crippling and deadly disease that struck terror into parents of the time.

The only real let-down in the movie are the aliens themselves. Their antlion-like habits, as they pull unsuspecting folk under the sand into their infared-ray-created caverns, is creepy enough, but the Mutants (inexplicably pronounced 'Mute-Ants') are among the worst-costumed in the entire sci fi genre! Big, hefty guys in unflattering green velour onesies lumber through the caverns under the telepathic direction of the ubiquitous 'brain in a bubble', a bodiless and merciless Master of Evil Ceremonies who has to be lugged about in a plastic sphere like an interstellar hamster!

In the end, the army arrives (cue rousing patriotic music by John Philip Sousa) to save the day. "Tanks," muses the general. "They're a beautiful sight when they're on your side!" And after some bombing and a race through subterranean tunnels, science and pure hearts win the day! Basically, quick-witted humanity combines brains and brawn to prove, once again, that heroic individuality beats the hive-mind every time. In the final scene, we are teased with the idea that this was all a little boy's dream - or was it?

So, my favourites in no particular order of preference or, indeed, merit are:

1. The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)
2. The Thing From Another World (1951)
3. The Beast with a Million Eyes (1955)
4. Forbidden Planet (1956)
5. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
6. The Deadly Mantis (1957)
7. The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957)
8. The Monolith Monsters (1957)
9. The Blob (1958)
10. The Fly (1958)

There are other greats 1950s films too, which I consider more horror than sci fi, like 'Creature from the Black Lagoon'.

That, no doubt, will be a discussion for another day.

Feel free to comment on your favourites or mine!

The Anticipation of Terror

"Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs."

During my early formative years, a certain generously proportioned gentleman was a familiar and welcome presence in my home. His calm - indeed stately - demeanor and genial 'Good evening' always heralded an enjoyable hour's journey into the darkly humourous side of the human condition. His theme music was impressive, ponderous, and quaint - rather like the man himself; his portly shadow slid into place within his sketched profile, like the anticipation of fear itself taking shape and form - a delicious foretaste to the whopping helping of mayhem and murder to come. All in the safety and comfort of my own lounge room.

Keeping in mind that I was between the ages of four and seven years old at the time, this may go some way to explaining my twisted sense of humour in adult life!

"There is nothing quite so good as burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating."

In my teens I ravenously devoured horror anthologies, including the wonderful series by Pan Books which featured Hitch on the covers of such twisted titles as 'Stories They Wouldn't Let Me Do On TV', 'Stories Not for the Nervous', 'Stories My Mother Never Told Me' and my favourite, 'Stories that Scared Even Me'. I might even have been found on weekends reading 'Rolling Gravestones' sitting on an actual gravestone at the local boneyard. Developmental issues? Who, me?

Yup, I was a Goth before there were Goths!

These books had marvellous covers, each with a portrait of Alfred Hitchcock with his face 'tattooed' with the writhing faces and bodies of the tortured and evil characters inside. I loved them! My copies are all packed away but I found one example to show you here:

"Always make the audience suffer as much as possible."

As I got older, I enjoyed many a great Hitchcock film, my favourite being 'The Birds' which absolutely scared the hell out of me! To this day, I get a little nervous if I see more than four birds flocking together on the power lines!

In more recent years, thanks mainly to SBS and the ABC, I've caught up on his earliest films including 'The Lodger', 'Rich and Strange', 'Number Seventeen', 'Blackmail', 'The 39 Steps', and my favourite of the older films, 'Suspicion'. Even in these early films, you'll see The Master of Suspense appearing in an anonymous cameo role in just about every movie. If you have trouble picking him out, his IMDB filmography has a list of his appearances.

"There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it."

I guess this is borne out by the famous blooper in 'North By Northwest' where the little boy in the restaurant scene covers his ears before a gun is fired! Well, at least we know he attended rehearsal!

Which brings us to the point of this post, which is that my friend Elizabeth and I saw the movie 'Hitchcock' a couple of weeks ago and enjoyed it immensely. It really brought back memories!

Anthony Hopkins was great in the role, but Helen Mirren really stole the show as his long-suffering wife Alma (what a fabulous figure she still has for a 68 year old!) Toni Collette was very watchable as the coolly unflappable secretary, and I was most impressed with the choice of James D'Arcy who was superb as the somewhat damaged and creepy actor Tony Perkins.

The movie is peppered with references for Hitchcock fans: the frequent appearance of birds in pictures and ornaments in his home and office, Hitch's shadowed profile as he eavesdrops on his actresses referencing the initial scene of 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents', and for those who remain through the end credits (basically, just Elizabeth and me!), a 30 second final shot of Hitchcock walking off stage at the end of the film.

I also enjoyed watching the scenes filmed on location at Paramount as I visited there in 2008 with a group from the sci fi club, Conquest. We walked along the paths and past sound stages shown in the film, saw where Hitchcock's office was, and got 'chased' by the guy at the Bates Motel set who comes after the tour bus with a huge kitchen knife. Lotsa fun? You bet!

"Blondes make the best victims. They're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints."

I tend not to read too much about a movie that I'm going to see, so I was interested to see the scenes with Ed Gein, the serial killer who inspired the book 'Psycho', which was written by one of my favourite sci fi authors, Robert Bloch.

Gein not only inspired 'Psycho', but is also linked to the character of Buffalo Bill in another of Anthony Hopkins' films, 'Silence of the Lambs'. I really enjoyed how his influence on Hitchcock was brought into the film through the 'fantasy' sequences which had a very filmlike 'stagey' look and feel.

Gein was a very sick individual indeed; one of those cases so unthinkably perverse that the reality truly is 'stranger than fiction'. All the movies which have drawn on his crimes for inspiration have only ever used a small sample of his story. The depiction of the full range of his psychopathy would be (sorry about this!) overkill.

If you have the stomach for it, you can read a bit about Gein here. Don't say I didn't warn you!

So, thinking back, 'Uncle Alfred' has been quite an influence on the moulding of my sense of humour and my lifelong interest in the macabre. You may say he has a lot to answer for! But I can't really complain. After all, what's life without an occasional Hitch?

2012 is over and 2013 has just begun. Let's take a quick review of the year that was, and take a moment to consider the year to come.

The past 12 months has been full of ups and downs, wins and losses, new ideas and old bad habits!

Among the 'wins':

Surviving two Apocalypses - Zombie and Mayan. Yay!

After a rough early part of the year, things have settled down at work. In that time my blood pressure has dropped from a staggering high of 195/130 to 132/85. Coincidence?

Appreciating the kindness of my friends, although I probably don't make this as clear to them as I should.

Getting back in touch with some old friends, both local and international, through Facebook.

Starting a Facebook page for selling my jewellery So Charming

Attending a writers course given by my talented friend, Marianne de Pierres at the State Library.

The ongoing survival of Conquest which seems to be threatening its own demise year by year, but manages to keep struggling on. Well done to all who keep the faith!

Among the 'losses':

15 kilos in 6 months (not all losses are bad!). Some backsliding over the holiday period I must admit! But back onto the right track again from now on.

Having Vampire Wars shut down in December. Thank goodness! I was obsessed! What a gigantic waste of time and effort. Good lesson learned about controlling my obsessive/compulsive impulses!

Loss of $500 by having my credit card skimmed at Southbank Parklands - the funds being withdrawn the same evening in the Philippines! Thanks to ANZ bank for the alert within hours of the transactions and for refunding the funds in full - eventually.

Most painful of all, the loss of our beloved Devon Rex cat, Emma, who didn't quite make it to 19 years. Thanks to the lovely and kind staff of the Cat Clinic at Mt Gravatt on Christmas morning who were gentle and supportive.

The year to come will include some resolutions. This will be a first for me, as I don't really make them usually, but I do see some value in having a focus on goals for the coming year.

First, start a blog (ha!) So that's one completed!

Focus on Ebay and online sales. I've let this slide. I've spent a few months rationalizing my approach and will try some different methods this year.

Consider looking for a new job. While I like what I'm doing now, and really like most of the people I work with, I'm just not making enough money to get by so need to take a practical look at what else is out there. More responsibility and less micro-managing would be great!

I'd like to lose about 30 kilos this year. Should be manageable if I keep focused!

Most of all - STOP PROCRASTINATING! So much in my life needs fixing that it all seems to big to tackle and so I do nothing. Small steps this year, I think.

In short, I'm hoping for a better years, more or less.

More exercise, more online sales, more time with my friends, more activity in general, more keeping in touch with family and friends, more reading, more MONEY!

Less mess in my house! Less weight, less putting things off, less making excuses.

Wish me luck!